Do you like to argue? I do. Before being saved and called into ministry, I was convinced I would become a lawyer- think of a young Matlock. I loved to debate anyone on just about anything. “But I’m right!” was my thought process. I was passionate. I was articulate. And, again, I was right! At least that’s how I viewed things.
The reality was that I had a major problem. I was never wrong. I was so stubborn that I found myself arguing for things I didn’t even believe and about things I didn’t even care about.
I must confess that over the years I have had my fair share of mishaps and meltdowns as the result of an ill-advised argument. I’m not proud of my behavior or attitude, but I eventually had to come to grips with it if I wanted to be the leader God called me to be. After a while, I realized that I was the only common denominator in the equation. But as G.I. Joe says, “knowing is only half the battle”.
The other half would take real work. I understand that most people are not confrontational, but for those of us who are, immediate confrontation is not always the best idea. For me, and I venture that this may be the same case for you if you deal with this issue, I had to learn to walk away. Allowing time to elapse helped me to respond with less emotion and more rationale. Giving space meant that I wouldn’t be able to say something just because it popped into my brain!
Here’s the thing, I’m an extrovert. I’m a problem-solver. I air all my dirty laundry and feel good after doing so. That’s just how I’m wired. Those qualities can be wonderful in the right settings, but they can also be extremely harmful when dealing with relationships. I had to learn that I was destroying a lot of great relationships because I valued proving a point over loving a person (ouch!).
As I evaluate my life today, I am far from perfect. I still have a ton of flaws, but God is refining me more and more everyday. As a result, I see growth. I don’t explode over everything. I can actually walk away most of the time. I think a little more before I speak. And I admit my mistakes far more than I ever have.
Know that it’s never too late to start doing the right thing. Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up!
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